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| heh... I was just looking over some of my old entries... and I realized something... I used to write some witty taglines at the ends of my posts... I have really gotten bad at writing these lately...
Star Wars!!11!!exclaimationpoint one
I watched star wars this wekend!
<star wars fan rant> Vader wasn't in it enough... they didn't play vader's theme at the end.... that little mupet fliping around is not a lightsaber duel...and... uhhh... it wasn't the same!! DIE GEORGE LUCAS!!!! YOU HAVE RUINED MY DREAMS OF GOOD PREQUALS!!!</star wars fan rant>
Ok... realy though... it was a good movie...it was beter than the other two prequals... and I realized that i have an exagerated memory of the greatnes of the first trilogy... i was six when I saw it for the first time... and at that point it was by far the best movie I had ever sen... now... everything that you remember from when yu were six is quite exagerated... in fact if you could go back now and relive some of you fondest most exciting memories you would find them rather dul... but since I was a small child when I saw the original movies... I will never again be able to have a movie experience which wil equal my memory of the original starwars trilogy
on a side note (if you have yet to notice) I have decided that as a form of rebelion against the standards of conformity... I wil no longer use double leters in my writing and from this point I wil stop using other such stupid rules such as silent leters in my riting... to stay tru to nonconformity we must reject all the staples of conformity... no matter the gain... no matter the cost... rely I shood stop using spasestoIdon'tnowywenedthemalthatmattersisnoconfomity
till next time
efilnisrettamtahtllasiytimrofnocnonfoekasehtrofytimrofnocnon
(nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity is all that matters in life)
intelligible human interaction is a thing of the past | | |
| oh noes... it's from china... it involves meditation...it is teh satan!!
ok... for one of my classes... we have been studying some things like reflexology... yoga... and today I am giving a report on Qigong... a lot of people get scared off by this stuff without even knowing what it is... why... because it is eastern. we look at it... and see that it has it roots in easter religion and shun it... now... don't get me wrong... I am not embracing taoism or anything like that... I am simply saying that there is some merit in the physical and emotional aspects of some of thse things... like Qigong for instance... the idea behind the original practice was one of manipulationg life energy... but... the practicle aplication of it is one of physical excercise, effecient breathing, and meditation... again... as soon as we hear the word meditation we think of a Sholion Monk sitting on a mountain bending spoons with daemonic power...but what of this... "in His law he meditates day and night"most westerners don't really know how to meditate... when we pray, some people come close... but most of us are very unfocused...our minds wonering even amongst the most fervent of prayers... Why are we as Christians prohibited from using eastern meditiation techniques to meditate on our Lord and His things? But, you say, (time to start using some better (not perfect) grammer) it is pagan. Honestly I ask, so what? We use the internet, a medium of comunication developed for secular purposes and filled with perversion, to study the bible and attempt to reach others. We use music, something that whle being a gift from God the first human developer of the art listed in the bible was of the ungodly line of cain, to reach the lost and to praise Him directly. So why can we not use eastern TECHNIQUES to meditate on Him? The fact that it is eastern or pagan really means nothing... there is no difference between a sweet little old nonchristian lady who works at a homeless shelter from suburban USA, and a daemon worsiper embracing the unholy god of torment and destruction in darkest Africa, or a Bhudist monk raping young boys forced to serve in the temples of the hymilaias. Either, if it is not specificly of Christ and sanctified by the God Jehova himself to be used for his worship then it must be rejected, or we can use what methods we have in the world in a godly manner to worship him. Look at it this way, when we drive our car to work we should be worshiping God in our very act of driving. If we are allowed to use such a worldy peice of consumer equipment as a car to worship God, then what is the problem with using a world devised technique to meditate on him? I am not advocating idolitry here (stop erecting that stake... put those torches down) I am not saying we should sit ther in deep meditaion on Mother Earth who gives us all life or try to control the Life Energy that created the world and we are all part of; this is nonsense, I am simply stating that we could use these techniques to sit in deep thought about what God has done for us, how we could better ourselves before him, and so forth. While using the physical excercise techniques to keep the temple of the Holy Spirit in good maintainence. | | |
| I am sorry about last night's entry... I got rather upset
for no good reason... I reaally don't know why... but again... I am
sorry that I was so critical... no one in hero has been mean to me...
or acted like they didn't want me around... in fact you have all
tolerated me quite nicely... I need to realize that people are
people... it does not matter if the purpose of a group is outreach or
not... it takes a while for any group to truly accept outsiders... HERO
actually does a good job of making outsiders feel welcome... some
people will be downright rude to outsiders... but ... none the less I
am still an outsider... and need to stop trying to force them tjo
accept me...
till next time
keep fighting the cold... even in the middle of a heatwave
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| ok... tonight was hero night... I came back feeling odd...
Sandra asked me if I am going to training or not... I said that I don't
know... first... I don't have the 100 dollars that it costs to go to
training... and even if I did I can't really afford to take five days
off work and still be able to pay for school...but I figured I would
get the money somehow if I was meant to go... and if I was not then
whatever... but I got started thinking... Kinya got in trouble last
month because we were focusing on each other too much.. and not
praising God the way we should... and I decided that if I go to
training I will ruin it for her... because she will be thinking about
me too much... but... when I tried to talk to Sandra about this... I
started by refering to and apologising for last month... but she
completely blew me off... and I couldn't even tell her why I was not
coming to training... I then went to Kathy and tried the same thing...
at which point she outright denied that there had been a problem... I
don't know what is going on... all I know is people have told me that
Sandra and Kathy are the two most caring people that they know... and
yet... they refuse to talk to me... they have a problem with my
actions... but they went to kinya about it alone... and won't even
acknowledge that they have a problem with me to my face... even when I
addmitted my wrong doing... I somehow got the impression that these
were people who I could talk to... and seek wisdom from... they have
helped so many people that I had hoped they could point me in the right
way as well... but they don't even act like they want to be friends
with me... my old roommate Flance... who is the most degenerate,
dispicable person on campus seemed to care more for me than the people
who started a group called "Healing Evangelizing Reaching Out"... I
have seen no reaching out what so ever.... other than Kinya... the only
person in HERO who will treat me in any more than the way one treats a
buisiness acsociate is Kira... she is very good at this reaching out
thing... but all I see from the rest is a secluded sect... an exclusive
clique... they all care about each other an incredible amount... that
is something I wanted in on... to have that sort of fellowship... the
likes of which I have never seen.... but the only HERO I have seen is
"hurting excluding rejecting ostricising" it is an excellent support
group... a wonderful acountiblity group... but it is completely self
contained... and accepts no outsiders....
or...
perhaps I am being overly critical.... something just occured to me...
it is not HERO... they are all doing exactly what they should... it is
me... if the most caring person alive can not care for me... then I
must not be worth caring for... perhaps they surface friendlieness
which they have offered is a truly admirable condesention to someone
who is so far beneath them as to be really and truly not good enough
for them.
Till next time...
I am sick of trying to make friends
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| oddly enough... as soon as we finally get used to the idea that summer is coming... and stop fighting the cold... everything freezes over. | | |
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